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My Wife Never Takes a Shower

By Rex Goode

My wife never takes a shower or a bath. Shocked? I am too.So, we are visiting our daughter’s family in California this week. My wife said she was going to do some laundry. Then, a few minutes later, she announces, “I’m going to take my shower first.”

You see, she never takes a shower. She only takes her shower. Same with baths, although we very infrequently take baths. We’re shower people. If she did take a bath, it would be her bath, not a bath.

I don’t often hear people speak of standing under the flow in the possessive case, but my wife always says it that way. I have a hard time thinking of something that I do as belonging to me. It’s so fleeting, there one minute and gone the next.

Well, in my case, it’s there in a lot of minutes before it’s over. I probably waste a lot of water because when I’m home, I shave and brush my teeth in the shower. At the gym, I don’t do it that way, but I definitely take a shower and not my shower.

I think I did hear my wife say once when we were in the pool, “I’ll take a shower in the locker room and see you at home.”

I guess that means that it’s only “her” shower when it’s in our home or the home of someone in our family. Speaking of our, there was a time before we got too big for one shower stall that we used to take our shower. Now I find myself wondering if I wasn’t taking a shower and she was taking her shower.

Then there’s the whole strangeness represented by something my mother would say if I said I was going to take a shower. “Well bring it back when you’re done.”

Why don’t we say “do a shower?” I have tried in the past to make myself just say, “I’m going to shower.” Somehow it just sounds a little uppity.

So, my wife can have her shower. I’ll stick with a shower. As long as we get clean, who cares what we call it?

In the sidebar, there is a poll. Let me know how you say it.

3 people like this post.

9 Responses to “My Wife Never Takes a Shower”

  1. Barbara Goode said:

    Taking MY shower denotes that not only the shower is MINE, but that relaxing time with no demands on me is MINE as well!! I am “marking my territory” both ways. It is not your shower. It is mine!

    The water heater situation in our home requires that an announcement be made of this nature. It is simply because if we don’t “mark ” our shower time, someone will inevitably flush or run sink water and freeze or scald us!!

    So….. Rex get a grip!

  2. Melissa said:

    Okay, break it up you two. Dad, I’m suprised you don’t say “My Shower” since you are the only one allowed to use the shower you use at home. Also Mom, you are NOTORIOUS for starting the diswhasther, flushing etc during other people’s showers. Really people!

  3. Rex Goode said:

    Ah, both of ya lighten up!

  4. Rex Goode said:

    And when I say “my shower” I mean the actual one in MY bathroom.

  5. Eric Chaffey said:

    Dear Rex and Barbara, I love you guys. I loved this post. After kind of a tough day this was just the little pick me up that I needed. Feeling delightfully drenched and refreshed. Enjoy your collective cleansing streams of water descending from a height above your head. 😉

  6. Melissa said:

    I’m light man, I’m Light.

  7. Springs Of Water » The Infamous They said:

    […] we are two very different people. See, for example, My Wife Never Takes a Shower, Why I Didn’t Like the New Star Trek Movie,  and Creamy or Crunchy. We have different ways […]

  8. Rusty said:

    Eh. Bathing is overrated. So is showering.

  9. John Roake said:

    That Tex, what a character.

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