My work, my ideas, my faith, my life

Creamy or Crunchy

By Rex Goode

A few days ago, I saw a few bags of groceries on the table that my wife had bought and hadn’t put away. In one bag, I found two large jars of chunky peanut butter. I couldn’t believe it.

In my cupboard were six large jars of extra chunky peanut butter, all with a few spoonfuls missing. I couldn’t understand why we needed more. More than that, I couldn’t understand why we didn’t have any regular peanut butter.

Later, when I saw Barbara, I asked about it. She said, “I like extra chunky.”

I asked her why she needed to buy more when we already had several opened jars already. She didn’t have an answer. They were on sale.`I won’t write about that attitude just now. It will cause a problem in my marriage.

I’m not the only one in the house that likes creamy. They like it chunky or creamy. She will not eat creamy. Funny thing is, it’s the creamy peanut butter that I buy that disappears and it’s the chunky that stays in the cupboard forever.

It’s not just along the peanut butter front that we have this difference. I was making the family pancakes the other day. I asked her how many she wanted.

She said, “Does it have corn in it?”

I said, “No.”

“Then I don’t want any. I don’t like it if there isn’t something in it.”

Her meatloaf is full of chunky stuff: bell peppers, onions, and one or two things I can’t identify. It’s so full of stuff that it doesn’t slice. It crumbles into a pile.

There has to be a metaphor in all of this, something that explains us in some way. My wife’s worshippers will be upset at me for this, but I think I know what it all means.

I like things simple. She likes things complicated. I think it’s no more or less than that.

Take chili for example. My mother made a very spicy chili that I grew up loving. Everyone on my side of the family, even the step-family, loved it. When we would visit my stepfather’s family when I was a boy, they would beg my mom to make her chili. She grew up in New Mexico, so chili must be made hot.

It’s very simple. It has beans, meat, onions, and chili powder. There’s not much too it. As long as you use the right chili powder and the right proportions, it’s a hit with most people.

Barbara likes it, although she has Oregon taste buds and milds it down way too much. One day, she made some and served it up to the family. She had added all sorts of other stuff to it. She complicated it. She’s the only one in the family who liked it that way.

If  I were to write about all of the other ways that I think Barbara complicates things, I’d have to hire a divorce lawyer, so I’ll just leave it at that. For me, things are best when they are uncomplicated. I like creamy peanut butter, plain pancakes, meatloaf you can slice, and plain old chili. Life is complicated enough without adding extra ingredients.

1 person likes this post.

8 Responses to “Creamy or Crunchy”

  1. Barbara said:

    I have to defend myself. There are TWO sides to every issue!!

    The chunky was on sale AND the creamy too.
    There was no creamy left on the shelf.
    Chunky was the only one available.
    Had there been creamy, I would have gotten that too.
    It was a S-A-L-E.

    Now, to address our differing tastes.
    The only way to get you menfolk in the house to eat
    veggies OF ANY KIND is to sneak them into things.
    It is true that I don’t care for boring food, and do like bell peppers, onions, tomatoes, etc , and even corn in things.
    I am usually a zombie when I do have time to cook and usually don’t even think of making special orders.

    I am tired.
    I work 8-12 hr days, full time.
    I come home and try to do most all of the house work, What yard work that gets done I either do, or work to delegate.
    You are all BIG BOYS now and should cook for yourselves if I have worked all day and sometimes into the evening and still make meatloaf, you can pick out the peppers yourselves!!!!
    I am tired. If you want creamy peanut butter , you are big boys: …… buy it yourselves or pick out the nuts. I’m too busy to pick them out for you or to cut your sandwich in half for that matter !
    This DOES NOT mean that I don’t love you enough to remember to get and make the things you like. It means that in my zombie state recuperating from the difficult work day, I just don’t think clearly enough to do special orders for the big boys.
    Are you brave enough to allow this to post?
    … or was your post a “hit and run????”

    Love you, but you are not always right barb

  2. Rex Goode said:

    Ah, the old martyr routine. Well done!

  3. Shawn Allen said:

    Rex, in Barbaras defense, I suggest that indeed you DO like things complicated. You married Barbara after all. 🙂 Have a nice day.

  4. Rex Goode said:

    Shawn, I’ll admit to that. 🙂

  5. Melissa Marriott said:

    KNOCK IT OFF YOU GUYS….um.. I have a compromise. Get a high powered food processor and when you wanta soma creamy, process the chunky!!!

    Don’t make me get a spoon. I’ll flick scoops of P-Butter all over your faces.

  6. Rex Goode said:

    So you are taking her side? Why can’t she get a nut grinder and stir in the extra nut pieces? Really, you’ve both missed the point of what I was saying, but thanks anyway. 🙂

  7. Melissa Marriott said:

    I get it. She makes things difficult. of course I’m going to take her side. Us drama queens have to stick together.

  8. Peggy said:

    It seems to be true that she DOES like complicated things…She seems to like you Rex! 🙂 Now I love creamy myself, but really, if this is the worse thing you can write about her, things are going pretty good. I don’t know Barbara, but I may join her fan club. Send me joining info.

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